Explaining Surrogacy to Your Children

Deciding to become a surrogate is a generous and meaningful choice, and it often brings up an important question: How do I explain Inclusive Surrogacy to my own children? The good news is that children are often far more understanding than we expect—especially when conversations are honest, age-appropriate, and filled with reassurance.

One of the most important things to remember is that there’s no “perfect” script. Every family is different, and how you explain Inclusive Surrogacy will depend on your child’s age, personality, and emotional maturity. What matters most is creating a safe space where your children feel comfortable asking questions and sharing their feelings.

For younger children, simple explanations work best. You might say something like, “Mommy is helping another family have a baby because they can’t do it on their own.” Children don’t need medical details; they need clarity and consistency. It’s helpful to reassure them that the baby growing in your belly will not be coming home with your family and that your role is to help, not to become the baby’s parent.

Older children and teens may want more information, and that’s perfectly okay. They might ask how the baby was conceived, why the intended parents cannot carry a pregnancy, or how long the Inclusive Surrogacy journey will last. Answer honestly, but only as much as they’re ready to hear. If a question catches you off guard, it’s completely fine to say, “That’s a great question—let me think about the best way to explain it.”

Another helpful way to explain Inclusive Surrogacy to children is through books created specifically for this purpose. Stories can make the concept easier to understand and open the door to meaningful conversations.

Some books you may find helpful include:

• The Very Kind Koala: A Surrogacy Story for Children by Kimberly Kluger-Bell

• The Kangaroo Pouch: A Story about Surrogacy for Young Children by Sarah Phillips

• Grown in Another Garden by Crystal Falk

• Sophia’s Broken Crayons: A Story of Surrogacy by Crystal Falk

• It Takes a Galaxy: A Surrogacy Story by Auntie Boppy

• A Kids Book About Surrogacy by Kira Chesak

  
  

Reassurance is key throughout the process. Children may quietly worry about whether you’ll still have enough time, energy, or emotional space for them. Let them know that while Inclusive Surrogacy is important, they remain your top priority. Keeping routines consistent and setting aside intentional one-on-one time can help them feel secure and supported.

Many families also find it meaningful to involve children in small, age-appropriate ways—such as letting them feel baby kicks, helping choose comfortable maternity clothes, or celebrating milestones together. These moments can help children feel included rather than confused or left out.

Most importantly, remind your children that Inclusive Surrogacy is an act of kindness. You’re helping create a family, and love doesn’t run out just because it’s shared. When children understand this, they often feel proud of the role their family plays in such a meaningful journey.

Explaining Inclusive Surrogacy isn’t a one-time conversation—it’s an ongoing dialogue. Listen, reassure, repeat when needed, and trust that honesty paired with love will guide your family every step of the way. 💗

If you’d like, I can also shorten this, make it more blog-friendly, or adapt it for social media or a website section.